She is trying to mute herself: Neurodivergent girls and words

Girls with ADHD and AuDHD are often corrected for talking too much.

She is trying to mute herself.

Trying to keep the words that constantly gurgle up in her from bursting forth.

Trying to keep herself from following the only path she knows how to connect with others.

Words.

There are so many words flying through her head at breakneck speed. Gathering into thought patterns. Bubbles amassing. Putting pressure on her brain until they shoot out of her mouth.

The words are unbridled, ignoring her effort to silence herself.

And rather than connecting her to others — as she hopes — her words often land like blue-sky lightning strikes. Scattering those around her.

Offended by her selfishness to interrupt. Or to monologue. They run away misinterpreting her attempt to make an association or share a precious jewel.

Other girls know how to restrain their words. To use them daintily and effectively - at times to sear.

But she is

possessed by her own words.

Obsessed with the potency of words.

And yet distressed by the ineptitude of words.

Because she knows it isn’t the words precisely that are her problem.

It is the when. The how. The to whom. They are delivered.

With each word, she is casting a line out to another, hoping to connect.

But there are so many social rules about words. That contain them. That restrain them. That tame them —

That maim them.

Her words themselves become impotent.

The social rules about words elude her. Even though the words themselves rarely do. And so most lines she casts out come back empty.

When has she cast out a line — and watched it come back empty?

Recognition, Reframe, Restore Her Nerve

This is the Recognition post in a three-part series on talking. Each follows the same arc — a specific issue explored across three posts: See Her. Understand Her . Restore Her Nerve.